Tom Cabeen

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Posts by Tom Cabeen

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  71

  I can't take this pain anymore...my life at dead end

  by JustHuman14 in

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  2. experiences

  my life has reached to a dead end...i'm stuck and there is no way out.

  i was inactive for 6 years and i'm disfellowshiped for the past 3. i would never think that my life would have been in this terrible mess.. .

  i wasn't planned to be disfellowshiped by my "wife" turned me in to the elders for apostasy 2 times!!!

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  Tom Cabeen

  JustHuman,

  You are in a difficult situation, my brother. When one's spouse turns against one, the trial that results is particularly painful and difficult. I have prayed that the peace of Jesus Christ calm your heart, so that you will see your situation more clearly. Whenever our Lord allows particularly grueling trials, he always provides and shows you the way out.

  Please bear in mind that the enemy is not your wife. Our Lord loves her as deeply as he loves you, but she has allowed herself to come under the influence of the Enemy, working through members of the WTS, who are themselves misled. Do not forget that He is the enemy, not her, or even other JWs.

  You have chosen to continue living with your wife, which is admirable and preserves a situation where you may yet be reconciled with her, for the good of all, but especially for your children.

  You are suffering for your faith. In so doing, you are joined in a very special and intimate way with the sufferings of our Lord. He alone has the power to turn your suffering into joy in a way that will produce the greatest possible good. Remember that it was at his darkest hour, the night before Jesus was tortured, humiliated and crucified that he said: "in the world you will have tribulation, but take courage! I have conquered the world!"

  I will be happy to help you bear your burden, by keeping you in prayer. If there is anything else I can do, please feel free to contact me at tcabeen[at]optonline[dot]net.

  Your brother,

  Tom
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  501

  Warren Schroeder from Bethel on Freddy, Kline and the apostate books!

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  having problem pasting this...

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  Tom Cabeen

  Hi Randy and all,
  
  I thought of another funny story from my Bethel days. This happened about 1971. My roommate Steve White and I had a housekeeper named Alice. We got to know her pretty well, and went out to Valley Stream with her to meet her parents and get away from the city. When Steve was going to leave Bethel, she wanted to get together and go out to eat with us. She was "seeing" an older member of the family, John, at the time. John was quiet and ultra conservative, but a nice guy anyway.
  
  We went to Steak and Brew, as I recall, a popular Bethelite watering hole in Manhattan. For $1.79 (!) or so, you could get a steak (a bit tough but edible), plus all the bread and salad (mostly lettuce) you could eat, and all the (watered down) beer you could drink. We all went there, Steve and I dressed very casual, Alice with a dress on and John in a suit, tie and wearing a fedora hat! We sat at a booth, John and Alice in the booth, Steve and I in chairs on the outside of the round table.
  
  About halfway through the meal, John was looking around. "What are you looking for?" asked Steve. "My hat" says John. Alice starts laughing. "I know where it is", she says. She is just sitting there laughing, trying desperately but unsuccessfully to control herself. John looks at her. "Well? Where is it?" he says. Finally, she is able to speak. "I'm sitting on it" she says.
  
  Steve and I are immediately laughing out of control. We have had a beer or two by then, and it the expression on John's face is too funny for words. Steve instantly sizes up the situation and says, mostly to Alice, but for all our benefit: "OK, I've got it. Here's the feminine logic: 'Since I'm already sitting on his hat anyway, it's as flat as it is going to get, so I might as well not make a big deal of it now by getting off of it. I will explain it later, when we leave.'" Alice is now hysterical with laughter. She cannot speak; she can barely breathe. She just sits there nodding her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. John, of course, sees no humor whatsoever in the situation, which makes it that much funnier for the rest of us.
  
  Slowly, Alice pulls the hat out from underneath herself. It is, indeed, as flat as it can get. This elicits further gales of laughter from me, Steve and Alice. Poor John takes his flat hat, looks at it like a fallen comrade, and tries in vain to restore it to some semblance of its former dapper shape. Clearly, some serious professional help will be needed if there is any chance of restoring it to its former glory. It didn't help that every time we saw the hat for the rest of the evening, we broke into broad smiles, at least. It was a rather long subway ride home, but a good exercise in self control.
  
  Alice's budding romance with John ended abruptly. I don't think they were suited well to each other. She later married, but I don't think John ever did. I don't know if the hat was ever the same again. Maybe John wasn't, either. But we all had a memorable evening.
  
  Tom
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  501

  Warren Schroeder from Bethel on Freddy, Kline and the apostate books!

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  having problem pasting this...

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  Tom Cabeen

  Hi Marvin,
  
  Mark is an anthropologist. He wanted to distance himself from the whole JW scene, and he has changed his name to that end. Last year I helped him (just a little) to publish and distribute a book he has written about Haiti. He is, as you may have guessed, no longer a JW. I sent him an email with the link to this thread, and suggested that he might find it fun to check it out, but haven't heard back from him yet. I can't give his contact information unless he wants me to.
  
  Tom
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  501

  Warren Schroeder from Bethel on Freddy, Kline and the apostate books!

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  having problem pasting this...

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  Tom Cabeen

  Frank, where are you getting these great cartoons? Are you making them up? If so, you have found your calling, my man! "High double standards" indeed! :-) Tom
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  501

  Warren Schroeder from Bethel on Freddy, Kline and the apostate books!

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  having problem pasting this...

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  Tom Cabeen

  Hi Greg,
  
  Something you said in your response to Frank's story made me think of another person I haven't thought about in a long time: Dean Pittman. Before I went to Bethel, I thought that the literature offers that appeared in the Kingdom Ministry were somehow tied into Jehovah's "master plan" to warn the nations just before the end came. I had heard statements to that effect, that this particular piece of literature, or this particular article, came just at the right time to accomplish His purpose.
  
  When I became Pressroom Overseer, I met Dean Pittman. Dean didn't like the limelight. Even when I was Assistant Pressroom Overseer, I never even knew who he was. But Dean was the Society's master planner for printing and literature inventory. He also planned the literature campaigns around the need to "move the old inventory". I always thought that Dean was a good man. He wore thick glasses and spoke with a Southern accent that was even thicker. Dean and I got along famously. Maybe it was because I was so different from Richard Wheelock, my predecessor. He and I would sit down every six weeks or so and plan the next months' print runs. He had a big spreadsheet (made by hand, no computer spreadsheets in the late 70s) and we would go over the paper inventory, and plan the printing and binding, and talk about the literature stocks in the warehouse. Then at the end of each session, he would work out the offers to be published in the KM.
  
  About the time the GB Committees were forming, the "Man's Salvation" book was in its first printing. Freddy had his interpretation of one of Jesus' parables, maybe the one about the mustard seed. He wrote the book, so he put his interpretation into the manuscript and that is how the book went to press for the first printing (the convention release). Evidently, someone or ones there had some sort of opposite opinion, for the GB discussed it and decided to overrule Freddy. I believe that was the first time something like that had happened. Whatever the case, in the second printing of the book, (only a month or so later, following the usual pattern for convention releases), the interpretation was entirely different. I don't remember the specific character represented, but in one view the character represented Jesus Christ, in the other it was Satan the Devil, so it was not a minor adjustment.
  
  The first printing had been large, but only the second and subsequent printings were sent to the field. Poor Dean Pittman put the first printing on the offer list for a couple of years, but he couldn't move 'em. I think they ended up giving them away for some pittance, like three out-of-date (or is it dimmer light?) books for a quarter, when they were still selling them. There may still be some of those darned books from the first printing in cartons at 30 CH, who knows?
  
  Tom
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  501

  Warren Schroeder from Bethel on Freddy, Kline and the apostate books!

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  having problem pasting this...

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  Tom Cabeen

  Hi Frank,
  
  I remember that story from when we talked a lot in the mid 1990s. Sadly, there were so many stories just like it. I now know how blessed I was to be in the Pressroom, where output was measurable and as long as we put out, we were pretty much left alone. I met some fine men there, and I will always love and respect them, wherever they ended up. It wasn't until long after I left that I began to see how divisive that whole organization is. You have so capably pointed out the reason why: the men in charge are exactly the same way themselves. No wonder so many of their decisions about the poor bros & sis's in the field are so uncaring!
  
  The caption under Klein's picture ought to read: "Jesus said, 'Take; eat." I say: 'Don't you dare touch it!"
  
  Thanks for sharing.
  
  Tom
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  501

  Warren Schroeder from Bethel on Freddy, Kline and the apostate books!

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  having problem pasting this...

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  Tom Cabeen

  Eliveleth,
  
  It is so nice to see these pictures of Fred. He served with my dad, Bill Cabeen, in the Spanish Circuit work in the early 1970s (he was District Overseer), then he and Maggie came to Brooklyn Bethel. Fred took me under his wing, and gave me lots of good advice about Bethel and spiritual matters, and Maggie helped me sort out my relationships with the sisters in my congregation.
  
  Fred and I spent lots of time together after Maggie left. Then Fred left and later married Jeanne. I believe Ray and Cynthia introduced them. We visited the Virgin Islands with Fred and Jeanne and Ray and Cynthia in the late 1970s. What a lot of laughs that trip was!
  
  When they moved to Mobile, Gloria and I and the boys went to visit them there. Then, a few years later, when Fred was so sick, I went back and spent a few days with them. I returned home only a day or two before Fred died. I was so glad I was able to talk to him, play the guitar and sing Tex-Mex songs for him, take him for a ride around in the car and even laugh a little.
  
  Thanks so much for reminding me of a dear friend whom I miss very much.
  
  Tom
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  501

  Warren Schroeder from Bethel on Freddy, Kline and the apostate books!

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  having problem pasting this...

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  Tom Cabeen

  Hey Randy,
  
  Ciro is still there, to my knowledge. His biggest claim to fame was his being the Society's liaison with the UN on the NGO debacle. I think his name was on the paperwork. He married Lolly Knocke (not positive about spelling; pronounced ku NO kee), a very sweet young lady who came to Bethel about the same time as my wife and is either a month younger or a month older, don't remember. Gloria and I knew Lolly pretty well and did some things with her before they were married, less after they were married. Ciro used to G-job giving piano lessons, as he was musical. If he would give you a note, he would write musical notes on it. I think he has been in Writing for some time now.
  
  I think you have or had one of his talks on freeminds where he was explaining how the end was ever so close, back around the turn of the millennium. Must be even closer now, doncha know.
  
  Tom
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  501

  Warren Schroeder from Bethel on Freddy, Kline and the apostate books!

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  having problem pasting this...

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  Tom Cabeen

  Hey Bob,
  
  Your post reminded me of that old van of Petrie's. I had forgotten all about it. One weekend Gloria and I borrowed it so that we and a couple of Pressroom guys could visit some former Bethelite friends who lived in Monroe, CT. It was about 50 degrees F on Friday night and raining as we slogged our way through rush hour traffic. A severe cold front was following us as we drove up, so it kept getting colder and colder as we drove. By the time we got to Monroe, maybe two hours later, it was below freezing and snowing. By midnight, the temperature had dropped to about 10 degrees F, where it stayed all weekend. We had a wonderful visit with our friends (we never went to meetings when we were on a "vacation" weekend).
  
  On Sunday evening, as we were getting ready to return home, I went out to start the van and warm it up. To my dismay, I discovered that the darned van was frozen solid! Not only wouldn't the engine even turn over, the van wouldn't even roll! My friend Steve had to push the van out of the parking spot with his new truck. He pushed me down the frozen back road he lived on. I had put it in gear and was going to let the clutch out to start the motor. The first couple of times, the back wheels just skidded-they wouldn't even turn when I let the clutch out, it was so frozen. Finally, it started.
  
  I let it run as we loaded up the stuff in the van. On the way home, we noticed that not only did the van not have a heater, it had more holes in the front of it than a Swiss cheese. It had warmed up outside to about 20 degrees F, but it seemed colder than that inside the van, not to mention that the windows kept fogging up something terrible, since we had no defroster. I had asked them to try to hold their breath until we got back to Brooklyn, so I could see through the windshield, but everyone inside kept stubbornly insisting that they had to breathe. ;-)
  
  Good thing the traffic was heavy enough that we did not have to drive very fast. But it was a long ride home, and we were all half frozen by the time we got back to Bethel. It's funny now, but I had some choice words the next day for Peach for not telling me that the van had no heater.
  
  Ah, the good old days, when a dollar was a dollar--and that was all we had!
  
  Tom
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  501

  Warren Schroeder from Bethel on Freddy, Kline and the apostate books!

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  having problem pasting this...

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  Tom Cabeen

  OK Randy, about money...
  
  I was one of those (evidently in the minority) who actually got along on what the Society gave Bethelites. Shortly after I came to Bethel, my parents went into the Circuit work, so they had nothing to send. Later, after we got married, Gloria's folks also didn't have any extra cash. Maybe two or three times they sent us $10. Also, being the obedient type, I didn't G-job, except for one time, which I will now tell you about.
  
  My roommate (and best friend at the time) was Steve White, overseer of the Electric Shop in the factory. He got a job installing wiring a Kingdom Hall in the Bronx for A/C. (It is still there. You can see it if you look up when you get onto the Cross Bronx Expressway traveling south on I-95.) It was summer, of course, and it was hot. He supplied the brains, I supplied the grunt work. We worked our butts off for a very long weekend on the project, and made $250, a small fortune to a Bethelite in the late 1960s.
  
  We hadn't been paid for the job yet, when Steve decided he had to run to Manhattan to pick up something for the electric shop from an electrical supply company there, rather than submit a requisition and wait for Purchasing to deliver the thing. So he took one of the Society's cars and went to lower Manhattan. He couldn't find a place to park, and he was "only going to be a minute or two", so he took the chance and double parked with the flashers on. Of course, the ever-vigilant New York's Finest ticketed him and had his car towed away. The rest of the day and night was a nightmare that did not end until, like the unforgiving slave of Jesus parable, Steve had "paid the very last penny." Getting the Society's car back, including the ticket, towing fee and parking charge on the DOT towaway lot cost him exactly $250.
  
  That was my first and last G-job, as I was too busy with other "legitimate" Society work. But I remember many months when Gloria and I had less than a dollar to our name by then end of the month.
  
  Tom
  
  PS for the uninitiated, the G in G-job means "Government". I am not sure where that came from, but Richard Wheelock told me that. I would be interested in how outside work got that name.